Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Corn Nuts.

I hate Corn Nuts. I've always hated them. I hate the smell of them and I hate the sound of them. It used to drive me out of my mind in high school when someone would tear open a bag of them in class and start crunching away. The awful smell would permeate the entire room, and the combined sound of the crinkling bag and the obnoxiously loud crunching would send my nerves through the roof. And the thing about them is that people never eat a handful of them at a time. They enjoy every single Corn Nut one morsel at a time. With luck and the right combination of sluggish motor skills, one could turn a small bag into a half hour experience from hell. To top it all, Corn Nuts are never eaten outdoors or in large rooms where the fresh air would allow the pungent fumes to drift away freely. No, they are eaten only in small classrooms, packed cars or other enclosed spaces, such as to create a wonderful Dutch oven effect. I hate Corn Nuts.